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An Easter dress

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Not sure what exactly compels me to want to write this one out, but I do feel like I want to write it out this morning.

About the time I was 13 or 14, I believe, my grandmother, scratch that, my step grandmother made me an Easter dress, she added crinoline to a secondhand dress, the secondhand factor was something I was used to growing up, however, this Easter dress in particular sticks out to me, because it was red with white polkadots. It would’ve reminded you of Minnie Mouse’s dress somewhat.

I rejected this dress in my mind at the time, all of my dresses, growing up for Easter, had been passed out and very light and felt like spring, there was nothing about this dress, that made me think Easter, or even spring. My mom did not get me another Easter dress this year. Grandma had made this for me, it was clear I was expected to wear this for Easter. It was Garish and did not fit in at all. So it made me unhappy.

Fast forward to nearly 30 years later, I’m now orthodox Christian, and is not an uncommon colour during the Easter season at church. Red represents the blood of Christ, and red is not a Garish unwelcome colour to me anymore, When I decide on what I’m wearing to church during Easter Sunday, which is called Pascha in orthodoxy, I often sing back to this red and one dress reluctantly wore so many years ago.

Christianity, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, music

Food for thought #7

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My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.† For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit here at my footstool,” have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?† But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well;† but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. (James 2:1-9, OSB)

This came up in my daily readings this week.

Ironically, I started going back to church after my husband died, because I felt I needed the fellowship in my life. I also pursued dance class at the same time, taught by a parishioner of my same church.

I don’t fit in either place it seems, though I was excited and eager to be both places, I don’t quite seem ‘good enough’ in either place. Dance class made me feel inept and the instructor cancelled further leasons after just one, citing lack of interest. He restarted them 3 months later but I didn’t bother because of how the initial experience felt to me.

After church, when people gather for fellowship, I end up mostly sitting alone at a table, most already have their people they talk regularly to…I’m simply not one of them and after several weeks, I still wasn’t any closer to being…and I did try.

I don’t tend to have a negative outlook on life or a victim personality…but I’m feeling a little down with regards to these things.

Best,

A

Christianity, country life, faith, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, malpractice, wonder, wrongful death

I’ve taken a few days off from writing.

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No real reason, just wasn’t exactly feeling inspired I suppose. I am still reading daily and my routine and life haven’t changed much at all.

It’s wet in my part of Alabama, not raining…at the moment but the wetness from the few days we got still hasn’t abated.

I’m sat in my yard, in my favourite chair, I’ve spent a bit of time with my bare feet on the wet mushy ground, the cold wetness hugging my feet as I ‘ground’ myself. I’m listening to Redbirds chirping and the sound of an extremely distant delivery truck backing up and a dog barking half a mile away. The breeze rustles the dead leaves in the trees above me and the ferns clinging to the branches of the tree to my left, and the hairs on my arm which are stood on end because of the briskness of the air. There is a plane somewhere in the distance, an old bomber by the sounds of it, ambling its way invisibly along the horizon. My chickens have finally decided the hawks overhead are a threat, perhaps…or perhaps someone has simply laid a late afternoon egg and has shared the joy with half my flock…who knows?

It’s February, the month I lost my sweetheart, piece at a time. A year ago today we had chemo at some point, I drove him 5 days a week until the unfortunate surgery that started the torturous week and a half until his death. Can’t tell you anything we talked about, can tell you usually he was drained on way home and slept, can also tell you we often had to stop to take over a public restroom. He wasn’t eating much, if at all by this point. I was sad because it felt like he’d already checked out somewhat. He was trying but I don’t think it was himself he was trying for. I miss him, but I’m sad he went through as much as he did, if it was only on my behalf.

I digress, I am at a loss on what more to write at this time.

Best,

A

Christianity, country life, faith

Food for thought #6

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I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own. As the Father knows Me, even so I know the Father; and I lay down My life for the sheep. And other sheep I have which are not of this fold; them also I must bring, and they will hear My voice; and there will be one flock and one shepherd.† (John 10:14-16, OSB)

I’ve never had sheep, I’ve only ever had goats and chickens. But I can tell you from experience that getting 2 flocks that are different in nature, be it the age or type of flock or whatever, is a challenge.

I can’t imagine what could have been going through the original flocks (Israel-Jews) head when the concept of a new flock not only being in existence but especially the idea that eventually the 2 flocks would be inevitably one, as they shared one shepherd.

I can tell you that the idea that the sheep know their shepherd isn’t foreign to anyone who owns any type of animals, you learn your animals and what makes them special and how they need to be talked to, what they need to be fed…etc.

I like that Christ spells out a familiarity with his followers in this manner, many may make fun of Christian’s as sheep but to me it’s a slightly different context than they would like you to think of when they shame us as such.

Sheep can be led to slaughter but that’s not what Christ is offering us, he’s offering us to protected by His grace as we go in and out to ‘find pasture’.

Just my ramble thoughts for the day,

Blessings,

A

faith, Greek Orthodox, Life

Food for thought #5

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He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” Simon Peter answered and said, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.” Jesus answered and said to him, “Blessed are you, Simon Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but My Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 16:15-17, OSB)

I think God, and Christ, both allow us to form our own thoughts and beliefs on who he was. He gave ample opportunities to those who surrounded him, both in his intimate space (apostles, close friends, and the women who followed his ministry) and by evidence even enough that even those farther removed saw His miracles or came to understand who he was.

I believe in Him because my heart tells me He is who He says He is. I don’t push others to believe against their will, nor do I hide or have any shame in my beliefs. I know God hardens hearts and opens hearts, ultimately we have to trust that.

I also think, maybe we should ask those around us who we are to them a little more often.

Just food for thought

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness

Food for thought #4

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Wasn’t sure I was going to write this today, been a little out of sorts and tired today.

So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”† He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep. Most assuredly, I say to you, when you were younger, you girded yourself and walked where you wished; but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will gird you and carry you where you do not wish.”† This He spoke, signifying by what death he would glorify God. And when He had spoken this, He said to him, “Follow Me.” (John 21:15-19, OSB)

This is one of my favorite passages because there’s a story here that means more than just the words on the page: here is the gist-

When Christ asks Peter the first time ‘do you love me?’ If you’re reading the passage in the original Greek…he uses Agape (all encompassing, move heaven and earth kind of love) when Peter answers- he answers him with Filakia (a brotherly, friendship kind of love)

Christ asks again with Agape- Peter answers again with Filakia

Then Christ comes down to Peter’s level and asks him if he loves him-Filakia and Peter, while wearied (I believe with himself ) confirms the Filakia level of love.

I think the biggest lesson to me is that even while he was here among us, he was able to come to us and understand and meet us at our level. (He knows we’re better than we acknowledge or try to be, but he meets us where we are until we understand the concept of moving heaven and earth ourselves with our love for Him.

That’s all I got for today,

All the best

A

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, Life

Food for thought #3

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“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.† (Matthew 5:13, OSB)

Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another.” (Mark 9:50, OSB)

“Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?† It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Luke 14:34-35, OSB)

This one I shared many instances because it’s one that definitely stays with me. Funnily enough I was told yesterday during the discussion aimed at me in a quite mean manner, that I was ‘salty’ actually that I was ‘the saltiest’. Mind you, I wasn’t being salty at the time, and yes…I’m capable and am quite salty at times, but I digress.

I am not sure if how I perceive this one is how it’s meant to be seen, and I’m certainly not trying to steer anyone wrong here, but here is how it reads to me.

Don’t lose who you are in trying to fit in in this world, you have a voice, you have a personality, you have convictions about God, life, and humanity. Don’t let the world take who you are away…because it will, at every angle. If you become a duller, weaker version of you, you get lost in the muddled world we live in.

Stay strong, keep your flavor!

Stay salty my friend,

A

country life, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness

Early(ish) morning ramblings.

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I find I wake slower these days than I used to when I was younger…it’s not a complaint.

There is a peace and relaxation in the rhythm and routine of my mornings, and in the peaceful solitude they offer.

My 2 young adult children are up in their rooms tucked away, and they rarely disrupt that solitude…when they do, it’s a welcome disruption.

I wake slowly, read my orthodox reading for the day and my inspirational text for the day, generally play 2 rounds of solitaire and 5-10 minutes of the monopoly game before getting up to go to the bathroom and pull my hair up to start my day.

My bed isn’t fastidious or a thing of beauty…it’s simple in fact…but making it is one of the very first things I do when I’m up.

I shuffle into the kitchen for coffee, the cats wait outside my door to tell me they’re starving and their water bowls need filled; I of course oblige. I decide on my coffee cup for the day, I have many as I collect them and they match my moods. I set it at the Keurig and proceed to load the dishwasher. I assess the laundry situation and decide there isn’t enough dirty for a load yet. I wash my hand washables and put my coffee on.

My yard is bathed in a beautiful pink glow this morning…it makes me smile as I’m washing the dishes partly because it makes me think of Christ and the way he called (I believe) the Pharisees and scribes hippocrites because they could read the signs with regard to weather but not with regards to God…and partly because the pink is my favorite color right now and this glow seems to soften my whole front yard. I didn’t take a photo because I didn’t need one to remember it, and I didn’t want to physically share it as some things feel like a gift just for me. Once i finish my morning cup of coffee, I’ll grab dog food and a bottle of water and head out to feed chickens and goats and dogs and quail. I lost Vincent, one of my favorite chickens, yesterday. Not sure what happened but it seemed like he got choked/asphyxiated somehow. Burying him was heartbreaking to me. Not sure how the rest of the day will go, lots of little things to do/catch up and will probably spend the afternoon with my daughter either watching tv or walking to the garden area in the rain.

I hope you have a blessed day,

See you soon,

A