My garbage truck runs at 4 am on Monday mornings it rarely bothers me because I’m almost always wide awake and restless by 3 am.
This morning I’m a little more restless as my back is throbbing, I have eaten cold pizza so that I won’t have issues with the pain medication I’m about to take, in the interim, I’ve caught dishes and laundry up, put the chicken and roast that finally defrosted into the refrigerator and filled the Brita pitchers and coffee pots for a fresh day come morning.
I like our home, I’m not settled yet, I’m not used to it yet, and we’re a little slower going than I’d hoped, between his knees aching and my new pain every day, we’re a bit of a mess.
Yesterday he worked his tail off…I feel a little guilty on that as my back was aching and precluded me being much more use than tits on a bull. He set a goal and he set his mind to the task at hand and he accomplished it. He cleared a corner of the garage (more in the house for me to work on 😆) and moved the refrigerators into the newly cleared space (more room for me to work, so it evens out).
I look forward to gardening, to spring and all that it brings with it, to discovering more of my yard, my woods, my neighborhood.
Our internet sucks (satellite), we don’t have enough data on our hotspots to last even half a month; and I’m missing doing my workouts on my oculus. However I’m in a place my dogs can be dogs, my kids seem less stressed, and I myself am less stressed. So trade offs happen I suppose.
Hoping to afford a trampoline, (for exercises, for energy abatement, for star watching) in the near future, but the ones that fit us (we aren’t lightweights) are a bit on the high end.
Ah well, laundry is going, dishes are going and pizza is in enough that I think I could take my pain med and try to go back to sleep. Full week ahead of us and no matter what, things need done:
Dear Spectrum, Verizon, ATT, T-mobile, and all the other companies that provide connectivity services to those of us across the US. You want to be the go-to in wireless, as an internet provider, etc. Then understand where you’re failing us as a people, understand that hotspots are what some of us are surviving on, recognize that going that extra half mile for installation for a new customer may cost a little extra, but sometimes going the extra mile is called for. We live in a disjointed society, divided by different beliefs on several different things; be it political, racial, gender based or otherwise. Now Covid has us more out of touch than ever, our children barely learning in an already strained school system. And you as our internet providers , you can’t even step up and recognize that going the extra mile to ease up on hotspot restrictions, or take a chance and install someone a quarter a mile versus your 200 foot limitations, is sometimes a necessity? I know this will fall on deaf ears, but it’s just my morning musings.
It is 14:44, I’m lying here listening to my relatively new husband sleep on the phone, no less than 650 miles away. He has work in less than 2 and a half hours, and the new schedule is wearing him out.
Lying here thinking as he’s sleeping, about something he said to me a month or 2 ago, I’d asked him how he knew he loved me, he said something I had never heard before, but when I sit and think about it, it makes me happy, and it gives me hope we can make this last.
His answer was simple, he told me that he felt something with me that he waited to feel with others and hoped to feel with others…but with me it was just there. He has told he’s felt it before, with his first wife.
Being married is surreal, my relationships up until now haven’t given me much hope about love, there have been several elements in them that I try to trust won’t happen in this marriage, sometimes fear of those elements causes me to lose sight of what’s in front of me, and sometimes I panic when we hit a speed bump.
Pay and I met almost 20 years ago, we dated for almost 6 months, and we fell apart. A lot was my doing, but not all. There were fears at the time that kept me from moving forward, and I’m not sure I would have married him then anyway, had life not pulled us apart.
Our reconnection, feels like we didn’t miss a beat, but somehow lost almost 2 decades. He’s hard to get along with at times, but so am I. Either way, I look forward to the rest of my life with him.
So, 2 days ago, my daughter and I went to pick up a kitty, Moses, who needed rehomed.
Moses is a 3 yr old Siamese Mix, who has twisted leg syndrome and cannot use his back legs. His previous owner told me he had a lot of anxieties, and was very verbal and needy.
Since we brought Moses home, he’s taken up residence under the bed in the downstairs bedroom, away from the other 2 cats, and gets lots of love when I am down here watching tv or working. He’s not actually verbal at all since we got him home, nor is he at all nervous (he helped me clean this morning and when a suitcase fell and nearly hit him, he barely flinched).
We are blessed with this new little fellows love and companionship. He is an absolute joy for us and he himself seems especially fond of my 16 yr old Son.
Hopefully I will be writing from time to time about him, as he learns the house a little better and does something besides coming out for snuggles and climbing on the bed to be next to me.
It’s a quiet night and I’m winding down to go to sleep. I have thoughts I want to write before I rest, but part of me worries that those who read this will misunderstand what I am writing or why I am writing.
I watched a friend lose his daughter this week…it was a tough thing to watch, knowing you can’t do much besides be there, as an ear…as a shoulder.
I talked with someone I consider a friend, a man who was very instrumental in my conversion to Orthodoxy in the last 2 years. We discussed how sometimes you just get too tired to fight anymore, and you’re ok when it’s your time.
I’ve come to realize that for many of us that’s going to be true when you finally get there. I wonder of course, when the time comes…will I be remembered fondly…or at all?
We live in a harsh world, where we’re often so caught up in ourselves, we miss the nuances of what makes us human.
Take time, look around you, notice those who care about you…before they aren’t there anymore.