Tag Archives: orthodoxy

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15)

Who am I to you? That’s what Christ was asking…and really it was a valid question for Him to ask then, and it’s a valid question for us today, to ask of our relationships around us, with the people in our lives as well as our relationship with God, right down to the relationships we have with ourselves.

We have many many people who dance in and out of our lives, all of our lives. To some I have been a good friend, to others I have been nothing. Some have found me to be abrasive, obnoxious, funny, charming, kind…any number of words could describe me in any given day, in any given moment.

I have had friends who have left my life over something petty…I don’t know what or who I am to them, not anymore. I don’t know if they hold onto fond memories of me or they let the petty moment that broke our relationship/friendship define me. I can’t control how they see me, I’ve made my peace in every way I know how and gone on with my life.

I don’t know how my kids see me most days, am I an ok mom? I would guess from the fact that the only time they verbalize how they feel about me is when they don’t like me so much…maybe I’m not? I’ve done the best I can there, I’ve tried to make their lives memorable, I share wonderful memories with all 4 of them, and God knows I’ve loved them to the best of my ability.

My relationship with God…it’s not perfect, but I think he knows my heart, he knows how I feel, even if my church life isn’t solid. (I’m currently ‘outside’ my church, because I married outside of the church, which isn’t the right way to go in Eastern Orthodoxy, but I hope to eventually right that, as I truly love my faith. I cannot take communion until that time, which believe it or not, makes me sad) I still read my readings, follow my liturgies and my church on social media for now, and I still pray…I don’t like being estranged, as it makes me wonder what Christ would say…right now…to me, we’re I to ask him:

Who do you say that I am?

Consecrated

The reading is from St. Paul’s Second Letter to Timothy 2:20-26

Timothy, my son, in a great house there are not only vessels of gold and silver but also of wood and earthenware, and some for noble use, some for ignoble. If any one purifies himself from what is ignoble, then he will be a vessel for noble use, consecrated and useful to the master of the house, ready for any good work. So shun youthful passions and aim at righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call upon the Lord from a pure heart. Have nothing to do with stupid, senseless controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kindly to every one, an apt teacher, forbearing, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant that they will repent and come to know the truth, and they may escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
bowl1

you may question my purpose for sharing this particular reading with you in this particular post, however it is one of my 2 readings for this morning as an Orthodox Christian.

I relate a lot to this post this morning as a dear friend of mine has questioned my moral compass, and though I can see opportunities to also question their moral compass, if I ever did approach, it would not be with the harshness he has approached me with this morning.

I think many when they read this post will see the silver and gold vessels as noble vessels and perhaps the wood and earthenware vessels lend themselves to being the ignoble vessels. However I believe that looks can be deceiving when you consider it, and all vessels, if they are cleaned inside and out, can be noble vessels and all vessels, when allowed to go to waste, or sit in filth, can become ignoble vessels.

I believe at times my friend sees himself as a gold or silver vessel, nontarnishable and always clean. I think he doesn’t even recognize that ones moral compass can be skewed at times, no matter how you see yourself.

I am a wooden vessel, and though I work hard to become clean, wooden vessels always lend themselves to looking at least a little bit dirty.  Even on my best days, I am not without fault…but i remain committed to being or becoming a noble vessel.

I don’t write this to shame my friend, but to help myself push past the shame he has tried to push off on me.

also, I write this to give comfort and uplift any others who also may recognize they are a wooden vessel, and never quite feel as clean as other souls around them.

just my rant for the day,

all the best,

amanda (catherine)