Good Saturday Morning

It is 9:11 am here as I sit to write, I’ve a load of dishes in the dishwasher, a cup of coffee in my hand and another queued for when this one is finished. My sweet husband is asleep after a long night at work. Kids sleeping as well…I’d say just the downstairs cat, Moses and I are up at the moment, however he’s fast asleep at my feet.

E starts online school this week, with Alabama Connections academy, I have to walk through all her on boarding with her between now and Monday. I am hopeful she will enjoy the classes and work diligently to complete her high school career on a positive note….two more years!

I start a new nursing job Tuesday and fly to Texas Friday to get a listing on the market. Real estate has been slow for me here in Alabama, but hoping once I’m established it will improve.

Lots of people I hope to see in Texas, but very short time there. Hopefully all goes well.

Nothing overly exciting here, just much of the day to day and muddling through.

~A

He said to them, “But who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15)

Who am I to you? That’s what Christ was asking…and really it was a valid question for Him to ask then, and it’s a valid question for us today, to ask of our relationships around us, with the people in our lives as well as our relationship with God, right down to the relationships we have with ourselves.

We have many many people who dance in and out of our lives, all of our lives. To some I have been a good friend, to others I have been nothing. Some have found me to be abrasive, obnoxious, funny, charming, kind…any number of words could describe me in any given day, in any given moment.

I have had friends who have left my life over something petty…I don’t know what or who I am to them, not anymore. I don’t know if they hold onto fond memories of me or they let the petty moment that broke our relationship/friendship define me. I can’t control how they see me, I’ve made my peace in every way I know how and gone on with my life.

I don’t know how my kids see me most days, am I an ok mom? I would guess from the fact that the only time they verbalize how they feel about me is when they don’t like me so much…maybe I’m not? I’ve done the best I can there, I’ve tried to make their lives memorable, I share wonderful memories with all 4 of them, and God knows I’ve loved them to the best of my ability.

My relationship with God…it’s not perfect, but I think he knows my heart, he knows how I feel, even if my church life isn’t solid. (I’m currently ‘outside’ my church, because I married outside of the church, which isn’t the right way to go in Eastern Orthodoxy, but I hope to eventually right that, as I truly love my faith. I cannot take communion until that time, which believe it or not, makes me sad) I still read my readings, follow my liturgies and my church on social media for now, and I still pray…I don’t like being estranged, as it makes me wonder what Christ would say…right now…to me, we’re I to ask him:

Who do you say that I am?

Goodbye my dear friend

Last week, I lost a friend, yesterday he was laid to rest.

He will be mourned 40 day’s, and remembered/ honored yearly, as is the Greek Orthodox way…but he will be remembered daily by all who knew him.

I knew Yanni almost 13 years, we met when my youngest was 4, she will be 17 in a few short months. In those 13 years, our friendship grew, the past 5-6 years, he confided things in me when life felt it’s worst, I did the same with him. I shared good and bad with him, he shared the same with me.

I will always have memories that stand out, early in the friendship, when we didn’t know one another so well, to the hugs and late night hello’s of the last 3-4 years. I will remember him always, teaching my little ones to say thank you in Greek when he gave them a piece of candy, (they ultimately thought the word meant candy, but they did learn to say it.

He used to tell Emma that there were sharks in the fountain at Zorba’s and she would always run to look for them, every time we came in.

I will miss his hugs goodbye, I will miss the forehead kisses, and the big bear hugs and even yiayia’s cookies and treats as we leave.

If you said it once, you said it a hundred times to your wait staff, give her a cake/dessert/whatever on me…this is my friend.

Last night, I made the mistake of telling a business he helped open years ago, less than 2 years into knowing him, that I felt they should have said something to tel their patrons of his passing, after all this had been his establishment too. They chose to say things that would initially make me feel sad, broken. They told me that he used to hide from me when I came in to their establishment. This upset and hurt me, but I’ve come full circle overnight and realized that this was early in our friendship, when we didn’t know one another, and perhaps my exuberance and excitement for him and his new restaurant was a bit overwhelming. Either way, I choose not to hold on to bitter words from an entity that I knew to speak venom about him when he was alive, much less when he no longer has a voice to answer back.

Ευχαριστώ Ιωάννης, memory eternal my friend, I look forward to those hugs when I see you again, my friend.

Wednesday morning musings

We, as humans, tend to be self important

As I’m doing the dishes/ laundry, talking with my daughter, walking my property, and taking care of my animals this morning, I’m thinking to myself about all I do, why I do it, and whether in fact it would matter if I didn’t do it.

The fact is, I do many things as a matter of routine and convenience for myself and my family. No one makes me do the dishes, or grocery shop, or do laundry…but I like to have a kitchen I can cook in, groceries to cook with, and clean clothes to wear…etc.

Some things I do, are acts of love, helping my husband with getting his stuff away, or getting things he likes, things my kids like, or even taking care of the animals I care about and like to spend time with now and again.

I have spent much of my adult life hearing people (friends, family and strangers alike) complain about the mundane things of day to day, whether anyone else helps, and so on. Truth be told – most days I’m not sure I’d let you help if you tried. I Welcome your company while working, but really I like what I’m doing most days.

One of my favorite bible stories (I have many) is the story of Mary and Martha. I used to read it and think how much I wish I got to be a Mary- but truth be told, I’m not sure it’s in my nature to be a Mary…I would feel inclined to fuss over the Lord were he over for dinner…I’d just want him close enough that I could hear his stories too 🙂

I’ll leave you with that story, for those not familiar: “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But all the preparations that had to be made distracted Martha. She came to him and asked, ‘Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!’ ‘Martha, Martha’, the Lord answered, ‘you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.’” Luke 10:38-42 (NIV)

Mental health moment

Just a side note to all, you may have an issue that you see as the same as someone you know because they are generalised with one name.

Depression isn’t the same for everyone, it is not handled or approached the same by everyone, it is not the same degree, it does not have the same impact on everyone. Someone who is outwardly very, very happy/successful/outgoing can be the loneliest and most depressed around you.

Anxiety is not the same for everyone. There is no textbook answer to handle anxiety. No cure all medicine, no ultimate way to help someone through an anxiety attack. Some may prefer that you be there for them, some may get more anxious by trying to continue a conversation. You may have anxiety and think you know what it looks like…but you only know your version, and you can’t define how others see it.

The best you can do is be understanding when someone tells you they are up against something like this. Take it seriously, don’t dismiss and don’t try to make anyone get past whatever they are going through by telling them it’s not real.

This is all I have to share today, have a good one.

Wanted:rose cuttings

I would like to learn to propagate roses from cuttings and would welcome any cuttings anyone reading may be willing to share

If you care to share, optimal cuttings have at least 4 leaf sets with the leaves removed from all but the top set and are cut just below the bottom leaf set.

Tell me a little about the rose you’re sharing…Color, breed if known? Climber?

I look forward to exploring anything offered.

Berry bushes (blackberry, raspberry, blueberry) also welcome.

Send to: Amanda Thomas 404 Huggins rd Valley Grande, AL 36701

Good morning

Home

My garbage truck runs at 4 am on Monday mornings it rarely bothers me because I’m almost always wide awake and restless by 3 am.

This morning I’m a little more restless as my back is throbbing, I have eaten cold pizza so that I won’t have issues with the pain medication I’m about to take, in the interim, I’ve caught dishes and laundry up, put the chicken and roast that finally defrosted into the refrigerator and filled the Brita pitchers and coffee pots for a fresh day come morning.

I like our home, I’m not settled yet, I’m not used to it yet, and we’re a little slower going than I’d hoped, between his knees aching and my new pain every day, we’re a bit of a mess.

Yesterday he worked his tail off…I feel a little guilty on that as my back was aching and precluded me being much more use than tits on a bull. He set a goal and he set his mind to the task at hand and he accomplished it. He cleared a corner of the garage (more in the house for me to work on 😆) and moved the refrigerators into the newly cleared space (more room for me to work, so it evens out).

I look forward to gardening, to spring and all that it brings with it, to discovering more of my yard, my woods, my neighborhood.

Our internet sucks (satellite), we don’t have enough data on our hotspots to last even half a month; and I’m missing doing my workouts on my oculus. However I’m in a place my dogs can be dogs, my kids seem less stressed, and I myself am less stressed. So trade offs happen I suppose.

Hoping to afford a trampoline, (for exercises, for energy abatement, for star watching) in the near future, but the ones that fit us (we aren’t lightweights) are a bit on the high end.

Ah well, laundry is going, dishes are going and pizza is in enough that I think I could take my pain med and try to go back to sleep. Full week ahead of us and no matter what, things need done:

Have a good day, make the most of it! Be blessed.

Feeling disjointed

Dear Spectrum, Verizon, ATT, T-mobile, and all the other companies that provide connectivity services to those of us across the US.
You want to be the go-to in wireless, as an internet provider, etc. Then understand where you’re failing us as a people, understand that hotspots are what some of us are surviving on, recognize that going that extra half mile for installation for a new customer may cost a little extra, but sometimes going the extra mile is called for.
We live in a disjointed society, divided by different beliefs on several different things; be it political, racial, gender based or otherwise. Now Covid has us more out of touch than ever, our children barely learning in an already strained school system. And you as our internet providers , you can’t even step up and recognize that going the extra mile to ease up on hotspot restrictions, or take a chance and install someone a quarter a mile versus your 200 foot limitations, is sometimes a necessity?
I know this will fall on deaf ears, but it’s just my morning musings.