Tag Archives: humanity

Christianity, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, music

Food for thought #7

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My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.† For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit here at my footstool,” have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?† But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well;† but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. (James 2:1-9, OSB)

This came up in my daily readings this week.

Ironically, I started going back to church after my husband died, because I felt I needed the fellowship in my life. I also pursued dance class at the same time, taught by a parishioner of my same church.

I don’t fit in either place it seems, though I was excited and eager to be both places, I don’t quite seem ‘good enough’ in either place. Dance class made me feel inept and the instructor cancelled further leasons after just one, citing lack of interest. He restarted them 3 months later but I didn’t bother because of how the initial experience felt to me.

After church, when people gather for fellowship, I end up mostly sitting alone at a table, most already have their people they talk regularly to…I’m simply not one of them and after several weeks, I still wasn’t any closer to being…and I did try.

I don’t tend to have a negative outlook on life or a victim personality…but I’m feeling a little down with regards to these things.

Best,

A

Christianity, country life, faith, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, malpractice, wonder, wrongful death

I’ve taken a few days off from writing.

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No real reason, just wasn’t exactly feeling inspired I suppose. I am still reading daily and my routine and life haven’t changed much at all.

It’s wet in my part of Alabama, not raining…at the moment but the wetness from the few days we got still hasn’t abated.

I’m sat in my yard, in my favourite chair, I’ve spent a bit of time with my bare feet on the wet mushy ground, the cold wetness hugging my feet as I ‘ground’ myself. I’m listening to Redbirds chirping and the sound of an extremely distant delivery truck backing up and a dog barking half a mile away. The breeze rustles the dead leaves in the trees above me and the ferns clinging to the branches of the tree to my left, and the hairs on my arm which are stood on end because of the briskness of the air. There is a plane somewhere in the distance, an old bomber by the sounds of it, ambling its way invisibly along the horizon. My chickens have finally decided the hawks overhead are a threat, perhaps…or perhaps someone has simply laid a late afternoon egg and has shared the joy with half my flock…who knows?

It’s February, the month I lost my sweetheart, piece at a time. A year ago today we had chemo at some point, I drove him 5 days a week until the unfortunate surgery that started the torturous week and a half until his death. Can’t tell you anything we talked about, can tell you usually he was drained on way home and slept, can also tell you we often had to stop to take over a public restroom. He wasn’t eating much, if at all by this point. I was sad because it felt like he’d already checked out somewhat. He was trying but I don’t think it was himself he was trying for. I miss him, but I’m sad he went through as much as he did, if it was only on my behalf.

I digress, I am at a loss on what more to write at this time.

Best,

A

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, Life

Food for thought #3

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“You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt loses its flavor, how shall it be seasoned? It is then good for nothing but to be thrown out and trampled underfoot by men.† (Matthew 5:13, OSB)

Salt is good, but if the salt loses its flavor, how will you season it? Have salt in yourselves, and have peace with one another.” (Mark 9:50, OSB)

“Salt is good; but if the salt has lost its flavor, how shall it be seasoned?† It is neither fit for the land nor for the dunghill, but men throw it out. He who has ears to hear, let him hear!” (Luke 14:34-35, OSB)

This one I shared many instances because it’s one that definitely stays with me. Funnily enough I was told yesterday during the discussion aimed at me in a quite mean manner, that I was ‘salty’ actually that I was ‘the saltiest’. Mind you, I wasn’t being salty at the time, and yes…I’m capable and am quite salty at times, but I digress.

I am not sure if how I perceive this one is how it’s meant to be seen, and I’m certainly not trying to steer anyone wrong here, but here is how it reads to me.

Don’t lose who you are in trying to fit in in this world, you have a voice, you have a personality, you have convictions about God, life, and humanity. Don’t let the world take who you are away…because it will, at every angle. If you become a duller, weaker version of you, you get lost in the muddled world we live in.

Stay strong, keep your flavor!

Stay salty my friend,

A

country life, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness

Early(ish) morning ramblings.

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I find I wake slower these days than I used to when I was younger…it’s not a complaint.

There is a peace and relaxation in the rhythm and routine of my mornings, and in the peaceful solitude they offer.

My 2 young adult children are up in their rooms tucked away, and they rarely disrupt that solitude…when they do, it’s a welcome disruption.

I wake slowly, read my orthodox reading for the day and my inspirational text for the day, generally play 2 rounds of solitaire and 5-10 minutes of the monopoly game before getting up to go to the bathroom and pull my hair up to start my day.

My bed isn’t fastidious or a thing of beauty…it’s simple in fact…but making it is one of the very first things I do when I’m up.

I shuffle into the kitchen for coffee, the cats wait outside my door to tell me they’re starving and their water bowls need filled; I of course oblige. I decide on my coffee cup for the day, I have many as I collect them and they match my moods. I set it at the Keurig and proceed to load the dishwasher. I assess the laundry situation and decide there isn’t enough dirty for a load yet. I wash my hand washables and put my coffee on.

My yard is bathed in a beautiful pink glow this morning…it makes me smile as I’m washing the dishes partly because it makes me think of Christ and the way he called (I believe) the Pharisees and scribes hippocrites because they could read the signs with regard to weather but not with regards to God…and partly because the pink is my favorite color right now and this glow seems to soften my whole front yard. I didn’t take a photo because I didn’t need one to remember it, and I didn’t want to physically share it as some things feel like a gift just for me. Once i finish my morning cup of coffee, I’ll grab dog food and a bottle of water and head out to feed chickens and goats and dogs and quail. I lost Vincent, one of my favorite chickens, yesterday. Not sure what happened but it seemed like he got choked/asphyxiated somehow. Burying him was heartbreaking to me. Not sure how the rest of the day will go, lots of little things to do/catch up and will probably spend the afternoon with my daughter either watching tv or walking to the garden area in the rain.

I hope you have a blessed day,

See you soon,

A

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, Uncategorized

Food for thought #1

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This is going to be a new series of posts, separate from my day to day. Based on my own thoughts on some of my favorite Bible verses and my own reflections on them. Things I think about while doing simple things such as doing the dishes or feeding the animals around my little homestead. They are my own personal take and thoughts. That, to me, is the Joy of God’s Word, it pertains to you how it pertains to you, its ‘living’ in that even that meaning changes throughout your life. So…here goes:

“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also. (Matthew 23:25-26, OSB)

This isn’t the only time this thought process is presented to us in The Word and it’s one that plays often in my mind, especially when I’m doing dishes, (also I feel that so many of the things shared with us were meant to be relatable to everyday life (planting, cleaning…) because they’re meant to bring the verses or thoughts to mind in the day-to-day of humdrum life.

To me, this verse is telling us to worry more about our thoughts, and even our words that come out of our mouth than we are our outward appearance.

Let’s face it, you can spend two to three hundred on a really nice outfit, and go out to hit the town, and if you treat people hatefully or rudely, or even if you are thinking hateful or rude thoughts (believe me when I say that these do spill over into your actions and mannerisms) all the finery in the world doesn’t make you a better person.

I believe Christ meant it more in the contact of sinning, don’t think about what others have in a manner that is jealous or plot to take what someone else has away. Don’t think hateful thoughts about other people, wishing ill of them or wishing their demise. These are what lead to things like theft, adultery, and even murder…you generally get consumed with the thoughts before you take the first step towards hurting another person in this manner.

Anyway basically, my general thought on it is ‘keep your thoughts in check, and you won’t have things to ask forgiveness for further down the road’

All the best

A

country life, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, hospital, Life, Travel, wonder

When I was 17, I wrote a poem that was published in my high school ’paper’

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It was a poem about my biological father. I can only remember snippets of it to this day.

two parts I remember:

‘Tis eighteen years since we last met, I’m only seventeen. I barely know to be my dad; a man I’ve never seen.’

And the end of poem:

‘Would I have been a daddy’s girl, if I had had a dad? Or would you be just like the rest, and make me very sad?’

When I was 36, I finally met the man I’d wanted my whole life to know. The man I’d daydream busting with pride because I was in the army and following his footsteps even without him being there. (He was a green beret, sniper, in Vietnam)

My dad was the ultimate disappointment in life. He was a perverse old man who though he knew about all of his kids (there were at least 5 of us) he took responsibility in life for none of them. Claimed no knowledge, but had photos of all of us when we were babies there in his home.

He died of lung cancer in February when I was 40. His family treated me and my children like a nobody at his funeral because all his other children looked like him. I didn’t favor him in any way. (My grandma used to say I was nobody’s kid, because I looked like nobody I was supposed to look like in her opinion.)

Despite all this, I’m glad I got to know the truth on him, that he wasn’t the man I watched for in all the drill sergeants and instructors I had while I was in the army. He was just as ordinary as any other man, and a purposeful deadbeat at best.

Sorry for the dark and twisty start to the day.

All the best,

A

(Craig, I also wrote about Christ when in elementary…about keeping Christ in Christmas, I think I was 4th or 5th grade. He wasn’t ever allowed to be present much in my schools growing up: atheists will tell you that’s a separation of church and state, I believe it’s just one more way to keep their thumb on believers- but o see it as one more way Christ separates the wheat from the chaff, enough trials like that and the chaff will fall away…the wheat won’t…just my 2 cents)

(Also Craig, per Luke, the Holy Spirit forbade them from preaching in Asia. Maybe there was a reason the Asian churches fell away? (Acts 16:6-7) )

country life, employment, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, Life

Good morning

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It’s quarter after 6, I’ve been awake since right at 3:30, when the little guy I’m dating decided to ‘like’ one of my photos on his phone.

I’ve had my first cup of coffee and unloaded the dishwasher and loaded the dryer. Will start a fresh load of dishes and wash here in a bit, then feed animals and get dressed to go to Prattville farm swap this morning (looking to buy a few more laying hens)

Nothing overly thrilling going on here these days, been working on getting things back in place for my nursing job, and that’s tedious at best. Supposed to possibly be going to Texas the first week of February for a listing…if it doesn’t sell before then. Less than enthused as it’s been sitting on the market for 3 months with no bites and I’m just not sure what I’m up against at this point.

Quail have gotten quite fat and I’m starting to wonder if I may be over-feeding them. I do like going out to visit them and feel compelled to fill their feeder a few times a day (it’s an awful small feeder for 5-6 per cage)chickens have also gotten quite fat lately, they and the opossums really enjoy my kitchen scraps and leftovers.

Goats…also fat 🙃 but I think the girls are pregnant and should be due mid April (around the 13th).

I still miss my husband every day and wish he was still around. I miss feeling loved and like I really matter to another person.

I hope you have a blessed weekend. I’m looking forward to the farm swap this morning and cow roping this afternoon and church tomorrow.

Catch you soon!

A

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, Travel, Uncategorized, wonder

So, mostly a humdrum kind of day today.

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Up and did chores today, didn’t take time to walk to the garden area today because I had other things in my head.

Dental appointment this afternoon, my face is still numb and it’s been nearly 5 hours. Picked picnic stuff up for dinner tonight and had an easy night.

Grabbed a mini rose plant because my husband loved those, going to work on planting a handful of those in between the regular roses this year.

Have an appointment at 10 tomorrow for the truck to get his tires looked at and also to see why the windshield washers aren’t working, went ahead and did most of tomorrows chores tonight.

I’m really into reading my Bible for just over a year now, just got into the gospels this week, 2 chapters into Mark at the moment. Loving the reading.

Watching the chosen, I like most of it but hate when they sneak modern agendas into a timeline it didn’t exist in.

Hope you’re well, have a blessed day/week!!

Amanda