Category Archives: hello: goodbye

country life, food, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life

Good Wednesday morning

1 Comment

I’m a little ahead of chores this morning, have to go out to feed the animals in a few, but currently I’m sat in my kitchen floor eating 2 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and a mug of milk.

The kitchen floor is my favorite place these days…I can’t tell you why. I like sitting here and eating or reading; it’s a comfortable place for me.

Pb&j’s are a favorite for me too recently, and funnily enough, I really like them with a cup of milk…plain white milk…the beverage I have seen with disdain my entire life I finally embrace in this, my fiftieth trip around the sun

Ive always been willing to drink chocolate, strawberry or honey milk but white milk has always been one that caused my nose to wrinkle and my tummy to instantly turn, it just wasn’t a good thing for me.

Anyway, I’ve bored you enough for the day with my ramblings.

I hope you have a blessed day.

Best,

A

country life, faith, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life

Good Afternoon:

Leave a comment

It’s been a quiet morning with much chaos…I did my normal chores and looked for the title certificate for my Land Rover that’s been sitting for 3 years as a guy is buying it to try to fix it back up to running condition. Left water running in kitchen sink and flooded the kitchen and laundry room to the tune of maybe 45 towels, made extra laundry for myself. Pizza for the kids tonight as I have dance class in Montgomery (Greek dance, which I am, by the way, horrible at).

I may stop to see B, the guy I’m seeing, on my way home tonight, may grab dinner while there and head home.

Guy buying the Land Rover is coming after dance to try to disconnect the drive shaft to ready it for towing.

Lots of thoughts bopping around in my head today, friend of mine this morning opened my eyes to my own negative thoughts and behaviors that I need to try to address, I’m grateful when short little phone calls cause me new awareness of self. Funnily enough he was talking about his own behaviors and faults when they clicked in my head.

I’m impatient…my dating situation is actually very good for me, he’s a very very kind man and when I said it wasn’t anything you’d write a love story about…maybe I need to look at what makes a good love story a little differently. I need to learn patience because we live in a world where everyone expects everyone else to be ‘on’ and available 24-7…we’re not supposed to be that way.

For now, I’ll be happy with the gentle hugs and the forehead kisses and all the quiet sweetness that goes with him…as well as all the other things that make our relationship. I will learn patience and appreciate what’s in front of me…and I will be there for him as long as he wants me in his life. Meanwhile, I will learn to enjoy my own company more in the downtimes when he’s not talking, I’ll learn not to worry or assume I know why he’s quiet when he’s quiet, I’ll spend my time constructively and not destructively-mentally, emotionally or otherwise.

Hope you have a lovely day.

Best,

A

Christianity, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, music

Food for thought #7

1 Comment

My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.† For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit here at my footstool,” have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?† But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well;† but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. (James 2:1-9, OSB)

This came up in my daily readings this week.

Ironically, I started going back to church after my husband died, because I felt I needed the fellowship in my life. I also pursued dance class at the same time, taught by a parishioner of my same church.

I don’t fit in either place it seems, though I was excited and eager to be both places, I don’t quite seem ‘good enough’ in either place. Dance class made me feel inept and the instructor cancelled further leasons after just one, citing lack of interest. He restarted them 3 months later but I didn’t bother because of how the initial experience felt to me.

After church, when people gather for fellowship, I end up mostly sitting alone at a table, most already have their people they talk regularly to…I’m simply not one of them and after several weeks, I still wasn’t any closer to being…and I did try.

I don’t tend to have a negative outlook on life or a victim personality…but I’m feeling a little down with regards to these things.

Best,

A

Christianity, country life, faith, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, malpractice, wonder, wrongful death

I’ve taken a few days off from writing.

2 Comments

No real reason, just wasn’t exactly feeling inspired I suppose. I am still reading daily and my routine and life haven’t changed much at all.

It’s wet in my part of Alabama, not raining…at the moment but the wetness from the few days we got still hasn’t abated.

I’m sat in my yard, in my favourite chair, I’ve spent a bit of time with my bare feet on the wet mushy ground, the cold wetness hugging my feet as I ‘ground’ myself. I’m listening to Redbirds chirping and the sound of an extremely distant delivery truck backing up and a dog barking half a mile away. The breeze rustles the dead leaves in the trees above me and the ferns clinging to the branches of the tree to my left, and the hairs on my arm which are stood on end because of the briskness of the air. There is a plane somewhere in the distance, an old bomber by the sounds of it, ambling its way invisibly along the horizon. My chickens have finally decided the hawks overhead are a threat, perhaps…or perhaps someone has simply laid a late afternoon egg and has shared the joy with half my flock…who knows?

It’s February, the month I lost my sweetheart, piece at a time. A year ago today we had chemo at some point, I drove him 5 days a week until the unfortunate surgery that started the torturous week and a half until his death. Can’t tell you anything we talked about, can tell you usually he was drained on way home and slept, can also tell you we often had to stop to take over a public restroom. He wasn’t eating much, if at all by this point. I was sad because it felt like he’d already checked out somewhat. He was trying but I don’t think it was himself he was trying for. I miss him, but I’m sad he went through as much as he did, if it was only on my behalf.

I digress, I am at a loss on what more to write at this time.

Best,

A

country life, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, hospital, Life, Travel, wonder

When I was 17, I wrote a poem that was published in my high school ’paper’

2 Comments

It was a poem about my biological father. I can only remember snippets of it to this day.

two parts I remember:

‘Tis eighteen years since we last met, I’m only seventeen. I barely know to be my dad; a man I’ve never seen.’

And the end of poem:

‘Would I have been a daddy’s girl, if I had had a dad? Or would you be just like the rest, and make me very sad?’

When I was 36, I finally met the man I’d wanted my whole life to know. The man I’d daydream busting with pride because I was in the army and following his footsteps even without him being there. (He was a green beret, sniper, in Vietnam)

My dad was the ultimate disappointment in life. He was a perverse old man who though he knew about all of his kids (there were at least 5 of us) he took responsibility in life for none of them. Claimed no knowledge, but had photos of all of us when we were babies there in his home.

He died of lung cancer in February when I was 40. His family treated me and my children like a nobody at his funeral because all his other children looked like him. I didn’t favor him in any way. (My grandma used to say I was nobody’s kid, because I looked like nobody I was supposed to look like in her opinion.)

Despite all this, I’m glad I got to know the truth on him, that he wasn’t the man I watched for in all the drill sergeants and instructors I had while I was in the army. He was just as ordinary as any other man, and a purposeful deadbeat at best.

Sorry for the dark and twisty start to the day.

All the best,

A

(Craig, I also wrote about Christ when in elementary…about keeping Christ in Christmas, I think I was 4th or 5th grade. He wasn’t ever allowed to be present much in my schools growing up: atheists will tell you that’s a separation of church and state, I believe it’s just one more way to keep their thumb on believers- but o see it as one more way Christ separates the wheat from the chaff, enough trials like that and the chaff will fall away…the wheat won’t…just my 2 cents)

(Also Craig, per Luke, the Holy Spirit forbade them from preaching in Asia. Maybe there was a reason the Asian churches fell away? (Acts 16:6-7) )

employment, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life

Random Rant

Leave a comment

Back in September, one of my past clients, an investor I’d worked with to buy a few properties several years ago told me he was preparing to sell one of his properties as its tenancy was near an end.

His property manager, someone who I saw as a friend, decided to put a bug in his ear that I’d moved out of state, and while I assured him that my abilities to handle his listing were still quite strong, that bug was still in his ear I suppose.

Fast forward to last week, after telling me STILL ,after all conversations,that he preferred me over her for the listing, he calls me to tell me it’s been on the market for a few months with the property manager and he feels she’s doing nothing to sell it, and she’s mostly unresponsive to his phone calls with regards to said property. He’d like me to make the trip to Texas and re-list the property at this point as he feels I’m more responsive.

I told him last week that I could…and I could, but let’s face it, a property that’s sat on the market for 2-3 months is a lot more difficult sale than one that’s just hitting the market. I don’t believe it’s worth my time and effort to make the trip and it’s not a cheap trip for someone who told me that the listing was mine then took it back in a matter of weeks.

So today I told him to keep the listing with the property manager and revisit why it may not be selling. I won’t be making the trip to list.

Am I wrong??

All the best,

A

Christianity, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, Travel, Uncategorized, wonder

So, mostly a humdrum kind of day today.

Leave a comment

Up and did chores today, didn’t take time to walk to the garden area today because I had other things in my head.

Dental appointment this afternoon, my face is still numb and it’s been nearly 5 hours. Picked picnic stuff up for dinner tonight and had an easy night.

Grabbed a mini rose plant because my husband loved those, going to work on planting a handful of those in between the regular roses this year.

Have an appointment at 10 tomorrow for the truck to get his tires looked at and also to see why the windshield washers aren’t working, went ahead and did most of tomorrows chores tonight.

I’m really into reading my Bible for just over a year now, just got into the gospels this week, 2 chapters into Mark at the moment. Loving the reading.

Watching the chosen, I like most of it but hate when they sneak modern agendas into a timeline it didn’t exist in.

Hope you’re well, have a blessed day/week!!

Amanda

Christianity, court, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, hospital, legal, Life, wonder, wrongful death

Hi there! Bye there 2023!

Leave a comment

2023 has been a mixed bag for me. Some of my highest highs and some of my lowest lows. But mostly a lot of smaller ups and downs.

I lost my beautiful husband and couldn’t get anyone to take my case against what I feel is a horrible hospital with a lot of horrible practices; who I believe caused my husbands death, not his cancer process.

I’ve started back to an Eastern Orthodox Christian church, in Montgomery. It’s small and I feel at home there mostly. I’m glad to have fellowship with even a small church.

I’ve done a lot of gratitude journaling in the last year, a lot of studying the concepts of manifestation and have come back to the same conclusion each time…it’s ALL God, I don’t need a process or a book to teach me to talk to Him more.

Sure, a journal helps in the whole mindfulness aspect of things, but past that, a lot of the books I’ve read have rubbed me wrong because they don’t feel true to God, they feel alien to me, so I grab what I need and I dismiss the parts I don’t feel feel like Him.

Ive prepped a garden and spent a good part of the year working towards clearing the overgrown parts of my land. I’ve killed the John Deere riding mower more than I care to tell you, I’ve given the greenworks zero a turn a run for her money. I spend a lot more time outdoors between the land and my animals (4 goats, 3 dogs, and 24 chickens, minus the 3 indoor kitties).

I’ve dated a man mostly quietly since late June early July. It’s not a relationship that anyone anywhere is going to write a bestselling love story about…but he’s pleasant and makes me smile and laugh: I’m glad he’s in my life.

I intend on 2024 being a year of heavy blogging for me as well as a lot more soul searching and following my own paths. So this is one last post to close out 2023, and tell you I look forward to adventuring with you in 2024.

lol I finished my post and had closed it out, and was done playing with the land for the day, but this came on and changed my mind:

https://open.spotify.com/track/7e89621JPkKaeDSTQ3avtg?si=NcN6LS5JT9mfB_WXqEpCPA

All the best!

Amanda