Category Archives: dance

Christianity, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, Life, music

Food for thought #7

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My brethren, do not hold the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with partiality.† For if there should come into your assembly a man with gold rings, in fine apparel, and there should also come in a poor man in filthy clothes, and you pay attention to the one wearing the fine clothes and say to him, “You sit here in a good place,” and say to the poor man, “You stand there,” or, “Sit here at my footstool,” have you not shown partiality among yourselves, and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him?† But you have dishonored the poor man. Do not the rich oppress you and drag you into the courts? Do they not blaspheme that noble name by which you are called? If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you do well;† but if you show partiality, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as transgressors. (James 2:1-9, OSB)

This came up in my daily readings this week.

Ironically, I started going back to church after my husband died, because I felt I needed the fellowship in my life. I also pursued dance class at the same time, taught by a parishioner of my same church.

I don’t fit in either place it seems, though I was excited and eager to be both places, I don’t quite seem ‘good enough’ in either place. Dance class made me feel inept and the instructor cancelled further leasons after just one, citing lack of interest. He restarted them 3 months later but I didn’t bother because of how the initial experience felt to me.

After church, when people gather for fellowship, I end up mostly sitting alone at a table, most already have their people they talk regularly to…I’m simply not one of them and after several weeks, I still wasn’t any closer to being…and I did try.

I don’t tend to have a negative outlook on life or a victim personality…but I’m feeling a little down with regards to these things.

Best,

A

Christianity, court, dance, faith, Greek Orthodox, happiness, hello: goodbye, hospital, legal, Life, wonder, wrongful death

Hi there! Bye there 2023!

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2023 has been a mixed bag for me. Some of my highest highs and some of my lowest lows. But mostly a lot of smaller ups and downs.

I lost my beautiful husband and couldn’t get anyone to take my case against what I feel is a horrible hospital with a lot of horrible practices; who I believe caused my husbands death, not his cancer process.

I’ve started back to an Eastern Orthodox Christian church, in Montgomery. It’s small and I feel at home there mostly. I’m glad to have fellowship with even a small church.

I’ve done a lot of gratitude journaling in the last year, a lot of studying the concepts of manifestation and have come back to the same conclusion each time…it’s ALL God, I don’t need a process or a book to teach me to talk to Him more.

Sure, a journal helps in the whole mindfulness aspect of things, but past that, a lot of the books I’ve read have rubbed me wrong because they don’t feel true to God, they feel alien to me, so I grab what I need and I dismiss the parts I don’t feel feel like Him.

Ive prepped a garden and spent a good part of the year working towards clearing the overgrown parts of my land. I’ve killed the John Deere riding mower more than I care to tell you, I’ve given the greenworks zero a turn a run for her money. I spend a lot more time outdoors between the land and my animals (4 goats, 3 dogs, and 24 chickens, minus the 3 indoor kitties).

I’ve dated a man mostly quietly since late June early July. It’s not a relationship that anyone anywhere is going to write a bestselling love story about…but he’s pleasant and makes me smile and laugh: I’m glad he’s in my life.

I intend on 2024 being a year of heavy blogging for me as well as a lot more soul searching and following my own paths. So this is one last post to close out 2023, and tell you I look forward to adventuring with you in 2024.

lol I finished my post and had closed it out, and was done playing with the land for the day, but this came on and changed my mind:

https://open.spotify.com/track/7e89621JPkKaeDSTQ3avtg?si=NcN6LS5JT9mfB_WXqEpCPA

All the best!

Amanda

dance, employment, exercise, faith, happiness, Life, wonder

Human…or dancer?

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It is 10 am on a beautiful Saturday morning here in rural Alabama. I’ve fed and watered the animals, moved laundry and will do dishes later in day when in the kitchen for other reasons.

Last night was a wonderful night for me, I had a date night with myself and it was pure heaven to me,

I took myself to one of my favorite restaurants twice, at the beginning of the evening, for a salad and at the end of the evening for something more substantial. The food isn’t why it’s my favorite though. The man I’ve been seeing is there and I got to see him/talk to him briefly. He seems overwhelmed lately and it worries me, but I’m trying to give/hold space for him, as it’s what I feel needs to be done at this point.

I took myself to a ballet performance at the zoo last night. I used to want to be a ballerina but was told this wasn’t a realistic goal in my younger years, so I abandoned the hope and dream and got on with life. Many many times over the years I’ve gone to see smaller, and sometimes larger ballet performances and always gone away with a sense of wistfulness…there are things that speak to your heartstrings and dance has always been one of these to me,

Today I’m in that wistful mood again. Wishing that a nearing 50 beginning ballerina was a thing…lol.

I hope all is well with you, whoever you are…did you ever have a dream you gave up that haunted you for the rest of your life?